Children can lack confidence at any age, from toddlers to teens. Show them the Circle of Excellence and they will be able to use it whenever they feel shy and overwhelmed. Here’s how to do it.
1) Imagine a circle on the floor; you can lay one out using socks or tights at first. You both stand outside the circle to begin with.
2) Ask them to name a TV character they think is brave and confident. Who would they like to be like at times when they feel shy? Talk about the character and what they like about it. Talk about a situation when it would be good to be that confident. What are tricky situations for them that you have observed? You can help them identify when they feel shy.
3) Now ask them to stand inside the circle as that character in the situation you have talked about. What would they feel like as that character? What would they do, what would they say and how would they feel. Ask them to pretend they are that character in the situation.
4) When they lose interest or go out of character ask them to step out of the circle.
5) Then remind them about the character or think about another character that they think is brave. You can use the words they use to describe the feeling they would like to have.
6) Step into the circle again as that character and imagine they are in that tricky situation as the character they have chosen. Again ask them to step out when they get distracted.
7) Now remove the things you have used to make the circle and tell them that this is now an imaginary circle and repeat the exercise with the character they want to use.
8) When they can do this quite fluidly tell them that this is their imaginary circle and they can pick it up and put it down whenever they need to use it.
Judy Bartkowiak is an NLP therapist trained in working with children and teens and their parents. A great book for kids is NLP for Children which you can buy at http://www.nlpandkidsbooks.com/