This month’s workshops are entitled ‘Overcoming your limiting beliefs’ so I thought I’d write something about what this is for those of you who are wondering if it might be appropriate for your child.
Firstly let me explain what a belief is. It is not a fact. A fact is an undisputed truth that everyone would agree on and can be proved. A fact would be something like this, ‘David Cameron is our Prime Minister’ or ‘Today is Wednesday’. Many children take their beliefs to be facts caste in stone that are undisputed and universally agreed. They are not. A belief is simply something we hold to be true right now, in this moment. Things change though. We may once have believed in the tooth fairy or Father Christmas but we have since learned that they don’t exist and that it can be in our interests to believe it otherwise we may not get any presents! This is therefore a resourceful belief as it pays us to believe it.
Not all beliefs have such a lovely pay off though. Many beliefs actually stop us from doing something we either want to do or need to do. They are limiting us from achieving our potential. They are often expressed as ‘I can’t’ and accompanied by body language that is hunched up with shoulders rounded, head down, eyes down and the desire to withdraw. When you see this in your child, it is very tempting to comfort, take over and do it for them and rationalise. We might reflect that we too found those things hard so it’s easy for us to understand. However, by doing this, we are colluding with them. We are confirming that this is a viable belief for them to have and that it could possibly even be a fact because as a grown-up, our views are taken to have more worth than the child’s.
In my workshops children examine these limiting beliefs and consider where they came from. Do they still want them or is there some benefit? They are encouraged to decide what positive benefit they are getting from having this limiting belief. Limiting beliefs often result in a bit of extra attention, hugs from mum, encouragement and some special treatment. We discuss what other ways they can still get the benefits without the limiting belief. These type of discussions encourage children to realise just how much of a non-fact their belief is and how they have the power to change it if they so wish.
We look at what’s stopping them from changing their belief and what form this takes. Many children see this as a brick wall , a high one that they can’t see over. We then use what are called sub-modalities in NLP to allow them to change this wall into something softer like a pizza that they can nibble a hole in so they can look through and see what could happen if they step through and take on a more resourceful belief. Some will represent their limiting belief as an annoying voice in their head saying ‘ I can’t’ or ‘Don’t be stupid’. This they enjoy changing into a silly voice that they can more easily ignore or even laugh at. Some will respond more kinaesthetically with a sick feeling or head-ache and they soon learn to tell it to go away when they realise it’s intent.
Once they’ve overcome their limiting belief using some great NLP techniques that I show them, I teach them how to anchor their resourceful and empowering belief and we all finish with giving ourselves a ‘feedback sandwich’.
If you’d like to find out more about these workshops, get dates for your child’s age or better still, book, then please complete this form or contact me via the Facebook Group NLP Kids.